whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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