I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
