Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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