So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He better not be in your backpack
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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