My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm always down for nudity.
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