ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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