singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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