I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
