Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
