wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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