i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Screwed.edu
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
