Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
