Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
