I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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