he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
