Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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