When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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