Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The adults are the big ones right?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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