Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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