I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
