I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
