Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Less talking, more tequila
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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