You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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