ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
