Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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