I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize