I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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