sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
