I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
