hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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