I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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