I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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