do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
