Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
