so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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