there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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