I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
