One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
