Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
