White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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