Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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