Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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