I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
