Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
