oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
