I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
