yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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