I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think people are normalizing furries
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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