i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
