why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
