Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
