I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
zippers are such a cool invention
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
