She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize