This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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