I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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