Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
