it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
