Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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