Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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