New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
