You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
